Yoni's D'var Torah (Words of Torah)
Shabbat shalom.
My parasha is Vayechi, the last parasha in the book of Beresheet (Genesis).In Vayechi, Yosef brings his sons, Ephraim and Menashe, to Ya'akov to be blessed. Ya'akov then blesses them, but uses his right hand to bless Ephraim, who is younger, and uses his left hand to bless Menashe, who is older. Thus, he gives Ephraim the elder's blessing. But first Yosef tries to correct his father by telling him “Not right, Father, because this is the firstborn.” Ya'akov then tells him “I know, my son, I know. He will also become a people and he will also be great.” Ya'akov blesses them and moves on. Then he calls for his sons. They gather around his deathbed and he tells them “This is what will befall you.” He then proceeds to give them each blessings, after which he dies.
I think that it is significant that Genesis ends here because it means that what happens here is final and next parasha is a new story. It really gets at the fact that it’s not going to get into anything else about rivalry between Ya’akov’s sons and there is nothing else of importance that happens in this time. It is also significant that it ends here because a father blessing his son/s is a really big event. The reason that a father blessing his son/s is so significant is that in those few moments a father is passing on his legacy, his possessions, and his land. Even his ideas and his thoughts.
My question is: Is Ya'akov really blessing his sons? Or is he rebuking them?
There are two areas that I looked at in the Torah where someone is blessing the tribes. One is here. The other is in Devarim where Moshe is blessing the tribes before he dies. So everybody who blesses the tribes then dies. (Note to self: do not bless tribes.) In this case, when Ya'akov is blessing his sons, he begins by telling them “This is what will befall you.” In Devarim, on the other hand, it begins by saying “This is the blessing by which Moses, the man of G-d, bade the Israelites farewell before he died.” This is a really interesting difference. Ya'akov is merely saying this is your future, whereas Moshe is saying these are your blessings. So, looking at this, is Ya'akov going into this with the intention of blessing them, or the intention of rebuking?
Let's look at some of the blessings. For Reuven, Ya'akov says “You are my firstborn, my might and first fruit of my vigor . . . unstable as water, you shall excel no longer. For when you mounted your father's bed, you brought disgrace . . . .”
But Moshe says “May Reuven live and not die, though few be his numbers.” So Moshe is actually giving a blessing because he's saying the tribe of Reuven will not perish. But Ya'akov isn't really blessing, because he's saying “unstable as water, you brought disgrace,” and I don't really look at that as a blessing.
For Shimon and Levi, Ya'akov says “Shimon and Levi are a pair. their weapons are tools of lawlessness. Let not my person be included in their counsel . . . for when angry, they slay men and when pleased they maim ox. Cursed be their anger so fierce.” But Moshe says, “And of Levi he said: let your Tummim and Urim be with your faithful one, whom you tested at Massah . . . .” So Ya'akov is looking at when Shimon and Levi destroyed Shechem in retribution for their rape of Dinah. But Moshe is saying let your oracular devices stay with G-d. You'll notice that he does not mention Shimon. This is because Shimon has committed a horrible act, which is unknown, and so Moshe does not bless him directly.
For Yehudah, Ya'akov says “Your brothers shall praise; your hand shall be on the nape of your foes. Your father's sons shall bow low to you . . . like the king of beasts—who dare rouse him.” But Moshe says “Here, oh Lord, the voice of Yehudah and restore him to his people.” Ya'akov here seems to be blessing Yehudah by saying his brothers will bow to him and he shall rule. But Moshe is asking G-d to listen to Yehudah's voice. The reason for this is that the tribe of Yehudah has asked Moshe to ask G-d to listen to their voice and bless Shimon through them, since Moshe will not be blessing them directly.
It is also interesting to look at the difference of the brothers’ relationship as brothers from the time of Ya’akov to the time of Moshe. In Ya’akov’s time, they were fighting and they had a pretty bad relationship. But by the time Moshe is blessing them as tribes, they don’t have that rivalry. In fact, they all have a place in society and they need each other to get what they need to get done done. For instance, Levi is the tribe of priests and the others need Levi to carry out their religious responsibilities.
So . . . what is rebuke? Rebuke is constructively criticizing without embarrassing. As it says in Vayikrah / Leviticus 19:17, “You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him.” This is saying that you should definitely rebuke your neighbors, friends, family, etc. but you should not carry guilt because of it. This guilt could be embarrassing them, rebuking them inappropriately in public, etc. Instead, you should find the appropriate time and place to rebuke them. As Rabbi Tarfon said, “I would be surprised if anyone in this generation can take rebuke. You tell a person to take a stick out of their mouth and they'll tell you to take a board from between your eyes.” This is saying that before you rebuke someone, be sure that you aren't ignoring your own words, or behavior.
Rabbi Elazar Ben Azarya said “I'd be surprised if anyone in this generation knows how to criticize.” He’s saying that he doesn't think that anyone in that generation knew how to properly rebuke someone, without embarrassing, or rebuking inappropriately (in public).
I think that Ya’akov is not fitting this description of appropriate rebuke because he is not trying to lessen the blow when he is blessing/rebuking his sons. He just goes straight for it and says this is what you did wrong. I think that the impact this had on his sons is a negative impact and it makes them feel ashamed or embarrassed. I think that the impact that Ya’akov hoped that his words would have would be a positive one, in the sense that it would help them to realize that this sort of thing is wrong and they can’t do it again. I think that to make this have a positive impact on his sons, he could have tried to ease in the rebuke instead of just hitting home hard. But it didn’t all have a negative impact.
We bless our children after Ephraim and Menashe because they are the first male siblings to get along in the Torah. First there was Cain and Abel. That didn't turn out so well. Then there was Yitzchak and Yishmael, and Yishmael wound up being cast out into the desert. Then there was Esav and Ya'akov. Ya'akov had to run away after stealing Esav's blessing and birthright, when Esav threatened to kill him. Finally we have Yosef and his brothers. Their fighting was so dramatic, they made a musical out of it. Then came Ephraim and Menashe, and they don't fight.
I think that we should instead bless our children, saying “May you have a joyful life and may you have the ability to be yourself.” rather than being like Ephraim and Menashe, because Ephraim and Menashe's story was kind of lost after that, and we don't want our children to be nobodies.
The verse in Vayechi Genesis 49:28, which concludes Ya’akov’s blessings to his children, says “Each according to his own blessing did Ya’akov bless them.” Rashi says “It should have said 'each according to his blessing did he bless him.' Why does it say 'did he bless them'? This is because he gave each of them the blessings of the other.” That is, he blessed each of them separately, but then included all of them in each other's.
Looking at all the information I am convinced that Ya'akov approached his sons with the intention of blessing some of them, but rebuking others. I also look at this as a blessing in and of itself, because Ya'akov appears to be rebuking them to make them better people. But even the ones he was rebuking he is giving the blessing of the other, because he doesn't want his sons to go without blessing.
I would like to thank Rabbi Emma and Rabbi Allen for learning with me in preparation for my d'var Torah. I would also like to thank Sheila and Ken for helping me learn services. I would like to thank all of my teachers at Talmud Torah of St. Paul, especially Karen Shapiro, Riva Nolley, and Rabbi Yosi Gordon for teaching me how to think critically, learn deeply, and hone my skills to prepare me for today. I want to thank my friends at Cyber Village Academy for helping me to get my mind off of the stressful process of preparing for my bar mitzvah. I want to thank my entire family for helping to get me through the learning process emotionally. I want to thank my brother Danny in particular for his support and patience. It can't be easy to be the younger brother. I would like to thank my eema for teaching me Torah and Haftarah trope, my Torah and Haftarah readings, some of her favorite tunes that I used during services, helping me with my d'var Torah, making this tallit, and teaching me better time management. And I would like to thank my abba for being a comforting, supportive, and understanding presence throughout the entire process.
Shabbat shalom.
(Copyright ©2013 Yoni Galyan. All rights reserved.)
My parasha is Vayechi, the last parasha in the book of Beresheet (Genesis).In Vayechi, Yosef brings his sons, Ephraim and Menashe, to Ya'akov to be blessed. Ya'akov then blesses them, but uses his right hand to bless Ephraim, who is younger, and uses his left hand to bless Menashe, who is older. Thus, he gives Ephraim the elder's blessing. But first Yosef tries to correct his father by telling him “Not right, Father, because this is the firstborn.” Ya'akov then tells him “I know, my son, I know. He will also become a people and he will also be great.” Ya'akov blesses them and moves on. Then he calls for his sons. They gather around his deathbed and he tells them “This is what will befall you.” He then proceeds to give them each blessings, after which he dies.
I think that it is significant that Genesis ends here because it means that what happens here is final and next parasha is a new story. It really gets at the fact that it’s not going to get into anything else about rivalry between Ya’akov’s sons and there is nothing else of importance that happens in this time. It is also significant that it ends here because a father blessing his son/s is a really big event. The reason that a father blessing his son/s is so significant is that in those few moments a father is passing on his legacy, his possessions, and his land. Even his ideas and his thoughts.
My question is: Is Ya'akov really blessing his sons? Or is he rebuking them?
There are two areas that I looked at in the Torah where someone is blessing the tribes. One is here. The other is in Devarim where Moshe is blessing the tribes before he dies. So everybody who blesses the tribes then dies. (Note to self: do not bless tribes.) In this case, when Ya'akov is blessing his sons, he begins by telling them “This is what will befall you.” In Devarim, on the other hand, it begins by saying “This is the blessing by which Moses, the man of G-d, bade the Israelites farewell before he died.” This is a really interesting difference. Ya'akov is merely saying this is your future, whereas Moshe is saying these are your blessings. So, looking at this, is Ya'akov going into this with the intention of blessing them, or the intention of rebuking?
Let's look at some of the blessings. For Reuven, Ya'akov says “You are my firstborn, my might and first fruit of my vigor . . . unstable as water, you shall excel no longer. For when you mounted your father's bed, you brought disgrace . . . .”
But Moshe says “May Reuven live and not die, though few be his numbers.” So Moshe is actually giving a blessing because he's saying the tribe of Reuven will not perish. But Ya'akov isn't really blessing, because he's saying “unstable as water, you brought disgrace,” and I don't really look at that as a blessing.
For Shimon and Levi, Ya'akov says “Shimon and Levi are a pair. their weapons are tools of lawlessness. Let not my person be included in their counsel . . . for when angry, they slay men and when pleased they maim ox. Cursed be their anger so fierce.” But Moshe says, “And of Levi he said: let your Tummim and Urim be with your faithful one, whom you tested at Massah . . . .” So Ya'akov is looking at when Shimon and Levi destroyed Shechem in retribution for their rape of Dinah. But Moshe is saying let your oracular devices stay with G-d. You'll notice that he does not mention Shimon. This is because Shimon has committed a horrible act, which is unknown, and so Moshe does not bless him directly.
For Yehudah, Ya'akov says “Your brothers shall praise; your hand shall be on the nape of your foes. Your father's sons shall bow low to you . . . like the king of beasts—who dare rouse him.” But Moshe says “Here, oh Lord, the voice of Yehudah and restore him to his people.” Ya'akov here seems to be blessing Yehudah by saying his brothers will bow to him and he shall rule. But Moshe is asking G-d to listen to Yehudah's voice. The reason for this is that the tribe of Yehudah has asked Moshe to ask G-d to listen to their voice and bless Shimon through them, since Moshe will not be blessing them directly.
It is also interesting to look at the difference of the brothers’ relationship as brothers from the time of Ya’akov to the time of Moshe. In Ya’akov’s time, they were fighting and they had a pretty bad relationship. But by the time Moshe is blessing them as tribes, they don’t have that rivalry. In fact, they all have a place in society and they need each other to get what they need to get done done. For instance, Levi is the tribe of priests and the others need Levi to carry out their religious responsibilities.
So . . . what is rebuke? Rebuke is constructively criticizing without embarrassing. As it says in Vayikrah / Leviticus 19:17, “You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him.” This is saying that you should definitely rebuke your neighbors, friends, family, etc. but you should not carry guilt because of it. This guilt could be embarrassing them, rebuking them inappropriately in public, etc. Instead, you should find the appropriate time and place to rebuke them. As Rabbi Tarfon said, “I would be surprised if anyone in this generation can take rebuke. You tell a person to take a stick out of their mouth and they'll tell you to take a board from between your eyes.” This is saying that before you rebuke someone, be sure that you aren't ignoring your own words, or behavior.
Rabbi Elazar Ben Azarya said “I'd be surprised if anyone in this generation knows how to criticize.” He’s saying that he doesn't think that anyone in that generation knew how to properly rebuke someone, without embarrassing, or rebuking inappropriately (in public).
I think that Ya’akov is not fitting this description of appropriate rebuke because he is not trying to lessen the blow when he is blessing/rebuking his sons. He just goes straight for it and says this is what you did wrong. I think that the impact this had on his sons is a negative impact and it makes them feel ashamed or embarrassed. I think that the impact that Ya’akov hoped that his words would have would be a positive one, in the sense that it would help them to realize that this sort of thing is wrong and they can’t do it again. I think that to make this have a positive impact on his sons, he could have tried to ease in the rebuke instead of just hitting home hard. But it didn’t all have a negative impact.
We bless our children after Ephraim and Menashe because they are the first male siblings to get along in the Torah. First there was Cain and Abel. That didn't turn out so well. Then there was Yitzchak and Yishmael, and Yishmael wound up being cast out into the desert. Then there was Esav and Ya'akov. Ya'akov had to run away after stealing Esav's blessing and birthright, when Esav threatened to kill him. Finally we have Yosef and his brothers. Their fighting was so dramatic, they made a musical out of it. Then came Ephraim and Menashe, and they don't fight.
I think that we should instead bless our children, saying “May you have a joyful life and may you have the ability to be yourself.” rather than being like Ephraim and Menashe, because Ephraim and Menashe's story was kind of lost after that, and we don't want our children to be nobodies.
The verse in Vayechi Genesis 49:28, which concludes Ya’akov’s blessings to his children, says “Each according to his own blessing did Ya’akov bless them.” Rashi says “It should have said 'each according to his blessing did he bless him.' Why does it say 'did he bless them'? This is because he gave each of them the blessings of the other.” That is, he blessed each of them separately, but then included all of them in each other's.
Looking at all the information I am convinced that Ya'akov approached his sons with the intention of blessing some of them, but rebuking others. I also look at this as a blessing in and of itself, because Ya'akov appears to be rebuking them to make them better people. But even the ones he was rebuking he is giving the blessing of the other, because he doesn't want his sons to go without blessing.
I would like to thank Rabbi Emma and Rabbi Allen for learning with me in preparation for my d'var Torah. I would also like to thank Sheila and Ken for helping me learn services. I would like to thank all of my teachers at Talmud Torah of St. Paul, especially Karen Shapiro, Riva Nolley, and Rabbi Yosi Gordon for teaching me how to think critically, learn deeply, and hone my skills to prepare me for today. I want to thank my friends at Cyber Village Academy for helping me to get my mind off of the stressful process of preparing for my bar mitzvah. I want to thank my entire family for helping to get me through the learning process emotionally. I want to thank my brother Danny in particular for his support and patience. It can't be easy to be the younger brother. I would like to thank my eema for teaching me Torah and Haftarah trope, my Torah and Haftarah readings, some of her favorite tunes that I used during services, helping me with my d'var Torah, making this tallit, and teaching me better time management. And I would like to thank my abba for being a comforting, supportive, and understanding presence throughout the entire process.
Shabbat shalom.
(Copyright ©2013 Yoni Galyan. All rights reserved.)